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WHAT do you do to heal and start life anew AFTER your friend / friends betrayed you? Drink hardcore?Work hardcore?Party hardcore?Do anything hardcore to get your mind off of things? Not me! I dwell in it! I’ve been looking at old pictures, emails, past memories, I just dunno what I should do to heal myself from all these.  Sometimes I do wonder if I should even continue being friends with them….I am just not sure what to do at anymore….simply lost! After what has happened, I dunno who to trust anymore.  This is another over-rated word that is being used but ppl just don’t understand what’s the meaning of the word anymore. I am soooooo battered! I feel lousy…Maybe it has affected me this much because my friends are a big deal to me.  I am too loyal…eventhough….aaah…forget it. I have been such a fool. Damn! So much a fool that I did not see all the cracks on the wall. I have picturing the wrong picture all these while.  Sometimes I just want to have the power of reading someone’s mind.  So much so that if that person doesn’t like me, but pretend she/he does, I will know it and I will not go further.  But that was just a silly thought!  Seriously I feel so lousy that I want to hibernate.  I just don’t want to be involved with anybody in that particular place anymore.  I feel that everthing I do / does, ppl will scrutinise! Opportunist?? I hope that meant in a good way….haha…I’m sure it doesn’t! AT ALL!!  I just don’t understand. What have I done?? Seriously can someone just tell me??!! I seriously cannot take it.  I’m lost for words for now…maybe thats better, so that I won’t write harsh words in my blog like I did before cos I can’t control my anger at that particular time.  Why must I succumb to whatever ppl say?? I need to stay strong. I need to change my attitude. Irregardless of what ever the future situation might be…I must be selfish and think about myself first before putting others before me.  I just have had enough and won’t take this lying down anymore!! Its time to put my feet down and not give a damn of what those ingrates have talked about me.  I have a whole better plans to concentrate on rather than this! Everyday i prayed and prayed to GOD to make my dreams come true….and I am working my ass towards it.  Insya’Allah, I will be able to go to that faraway place and start a new life there with my husband…..one day….just one day……..

Its not as easy as you think.  This is not just a piece of cake….Firstly…its not easy to start this business! Yeah…I mean I need to carefully plan…but in the end…I felt like it didn’t need any planning at all?? Just follow the flow ~ Crazy isn’t it? I have done loads of trial and error and finally I’ve got the courage to move on and give it a go!  I am glad that I did it cos if I didn’t start doing this last year…I don’t know if I will do it ever!!! I have been busy setting up my multiply webbie as many of my friends were asking me to do it…but I simply brush them away and post my pictures in Flickr.com.  Easy la…so…after everybody made loadsa noise…yes…I have done my multiply webbie and its on the Title mind you….

www.tjcuppies.multiply.com

Please help spread the "LOVE" ok….

I am thinking of upgrading myself…I must learn how to bake bigger cakes….learn how to decorate them beautifully too! Maybe take some courses for this as I am serious in doing this in the near future! Doing some research and am considering a few places to take baking course.  Insya’allah…I will go there and pursue my Diploma in Baking! Now saving money la…I mean its not cheap you know!  I am targeting next year or early next next year….Hopefully by then…I’d be able to save A LOT! Any sponsors? Hahahaaa….fat hope la…but I will work my ass off for this!  I don’t wanna regret this when I turned 40 in like 9 years time! ahemz ahemz!

So friends, please give me the encouragement to make me pull through this…I need to stay positive and will be until I get what I wanted all this while….

Thank you!

Its the same time of the year where I need to say goodbye to my goodfriend 30.  I never fail to feel butterflies in my stomach on every eve of my birthday.  Dunno what I should be excited about! Hah! I’m not expecting a big bash or anything…seriously…it just didn’t cross my mind.  It seems that when the number starts to escalates, you feel a little bit calmer, more toned down, mellowed for that matter! My temper hasn’t improved that much! I get angry really easily. And trust me…you don’t like it when Momma’s angry! hehe SMSes have been pouring in since 8pm today…good ol’ friends sending their well wishes.  I feel ok…not too bad. Planning to go for dinner with some good friends tomorrow…and have a pleasant night. No cakes…no nothing..just dinner..or maybe ice cream…yah..that’ll be nice!  I LOVE ice creaM! Especially Ben & Jerry’s!!! OMG! I swear I can eat that EVERYDAY! LOL. Glutton! When I was younger…I used to plan for my birthday celebrations.  The b iggest bash was when I turned 21.  I did mine and Aranda Club Chalet. It was the most unforgettable event of my life! I had a big cake…my dad supplied us with king prawns, steaks, lamb chops, satay..u name it…we have it! It was all friends affair…no parents!! STRICTLY!! My siblings turned up…their friends who knows me turned up too…got LAODS of presents…seriously! I will not forget that day! I mean…now…hmm..I don’t want to do anything like that anymore cos I am just not interested.  The amount of work / cleaning up you need to do after that…is really really bad la.  So I have erased the idea from my mind on my 22nd Birthday! lol…My dad never failed to bring us birthday cakes during our birthdays. I love the mango cake from his workplace..and he knows it! Its yummy! I think I should go sleep already…need to work tomorrow…same ol shit aye…sales sales sales! Good Night!

Ahem ahem…I’m slacking leh! Supposed to be doing laundry, mop the floor, change bedsheets, bathe my cats, cook lunch?, next!… but here I am typing my blog…this is too much! OK just a few minutes won’t do no harm aight! Ok quick one! I HATE DOING HOUSE CHORES!!!! Anybody got maid to borrow?? kihkihkihkih….ok back to my Trophy Wife’s Routine…..Have a good Sunday! Mines crappy! Wanna trade places????

Happy Mothers’ Day! This was indeed an unforgettable day for me. I thought getting many orders was one of my fictitious dream…but hell no! It came true! I’ve got dozens of orders…ranging from plain cuppies (no icing/cream watever) to full icing with fresh blooms (as usual —> my signature!) So I was baking from Friday night after work and thought that I would be able to rest on Sunday…but I was so TOTALLY wrong babes! I had to do a last minute order from Emmey’s colleagues…because….he brought some left overs to work and they IMMEDIATELY fell in love me my cuppies! I’m so glad they liked it!! For me…I can’t eat it anymore…with all those tastings in the past…I just cannot lor! Macam nak muntah (like i want to vomit) not literally but hypothetically speaking aight! U get what I mean??  Orders for my cuppies are on the high side for the next few months! Its really wonderful.  At least there’s orders u see.  The company that I worked for have been very supportive.  They are ordering for the 2nd time already! I am to do about 80 cuppies for their birthday celebrations. Cool isn’t it?? Night Safari ordered a few too..I am just not getting enough sleep these few days and I almost fell asleep at my workstation this afternoon! Damn! Like for example today, I actually wanted to go home straight after work but I had to go buy the ingredients for the orders…shucks! And I have to meet Zaki (the one who’s helping me with my boxes & namecard). He just came back from Jakarta…and here I am..blogging my life away….not sleep! I should be sleeping already! I guess i am in the mood to write something here….just to give u an update of how "interesting" my life has been!  No rumours for NOW! Its peaceful…it great to write about something and everything just "shoo away" immediately! Anyways…enough about those good for nothings! Back to Mothers’ Day. I’ve read some bloggers writing about how they hated all these "days" la. But I mean come on…u gotta give these ppl some slack la! I don’t see there’s a need to say that Mother’s day and the other "days" celebration is a crap! I know that they meant that we don’t have to wait for Mother’s Day to give our mom flowers. Hey don’t blame us…blame the person who started all this lor. Marketing strategy….well u tell me.  Personally…I will be equally glad if there wasn’t any Mothers’ Day. Now that there is…I am seizing every moment of it as i love my mom a whole damn lot!!!!  I will still buy mama present or anything…even if its not mothers day.  I like the fact that we have a day to celebrate for mothers….its like a commemorative day for mothers who have burst a few veins to deliver us into this shitty world! hahaha…should I be saying that???? Oh what the heck…I just wanna wish my MAMA a VERY HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY. I love you and see you at the restaurant ya ok! Belated dinner…cos I busy baking maaaaaa last Sunday! So…for the rest who thinks that Mothers’ Day a crap…Shut da hell up and get on with your pathetic lives! Keep your comments to yourself sucker! Chao babes…till we meet again!!!!

Love this setting. This was my latest order! Never expected it to be this nice! Seriously! I was up since Saturday..baking…and piping out all the cuppies. Slept at midnight and was up at 3am to do setting at the bride’s place. She ordered cuppies and other floral arrangements.  I was a zombie! Felt like one!I seriously didn’t know how to go through it cos I was so friggin’ tired and sleepy! Had a birthday order too at the same day. Imagine my kitchen!!! hahah…Finally..when alls done on Sunday….. client’s parents were amazed…they told me that was really really gorgeous! I thought I like it too…how can I not?? I lose my sleep doing this! Wish I could do this full time! I’m so loving it! But I guess I’ll just have to wait.  Need to come up with fresh idea everytime I get an order. I like it cos its like a challenge to me. I love this kinda challenges. Getting great comments is one pleasure which money can’t buy! Some clients even asked me if I went to any floral arrangment course…haha..NO I DID NOT. Never. I simply get ideas from colours…for example this picture here…the decor was green..so instantaneously I thought of green apples….dunno why. I spent hours at the nursery on Friday! Too many flowers to choose from! I also get inspiration when I’m at the nursery looking at those beautiful blooms! I was at Covo’s the other day and I saw this gorgeous flower called peony! Love it to death. Found it in the nursery but it was so friggin expensive!! $20 for a bunch of 5 or 6!! You must be kidding me right?? Well I settle with this huge red roses, white gerberas, wild berries, lilies (MY FAV!) and leaves…it turned out gorgeous!! I’m loving it! In fact..I want to do this forever! Simply satisfying!!!!! U reckoned??

Sometimes I feel that I don’t have to please people AT ALL. I mean…what’s the use? I don’t have to have people liking me if they do not want to. The fact is… all of my friends (real ones) know that I’m not fake!  What you see is what you get. And I am not bragging just because I said this. But I do find sometimes that some ppl…not in particular are the least happy when they see that I am more approchable (i hope that its spelt correctly!) than them.  They’ll start saying bad things about me, you know…stuff like they think will kill me. BUt they are so wrong! I wonder what they get by doin all this. And the fact that they can be fake in front of me acting Ms All Goody 2 shoes! U know what…I resent that. But as I think it over…rationally for that matter… I tend to realise that this is part of life God have given me. Why do I have to bother about what ppl say about me??? They don’t know me….they have no right…yes…but its their nature to just bad mouth about me and think that their life is perfect. I always tell myself to "fuck it" but sometimes it makes me wonder if that person deserves to be slapped in public! haha… but then again I would be uncivilised if I were to do that….in fact that would make me the same as that particular person. And this person is so good at manupilating dumb asses who would just listen and swallow whatever that have been said.  I really don’t need this kinda people around me…so full about themselves!!! Basically I am happy having such a wonderful husband, family and friends. I don’t have to be effected (although i already have in the past) about one person or many more who have made it a hobby or their favourite past time to talk about me. Thank you for making me famous! I believe in karma. What comes around…goes around.  I will not let this dampen my spirits in life and take it as a challenge to be someone better. Don’t you think so??   

Its quite a night! My Team was the Black Cars Team. I think we did good! We donned red hula skirts and black top with a garland! All of us looked so good! We felt good too! I never thought that our costumes were one of the outstanding among other groups! Its probably the colour! Red & Black can never go wrong!! Dinner was superb! From bbqued crayfish to lamb…then medium raw beef…its perfect!! Not to mention the whipped potato! Marvellous! I took second helping on that! And the Watercrest Soup with Prawns…mmmmm mamamiaaaa….tantalizing!!!  In fact the whole thing was really scrumptious!!! A 10 out of 10 I should say!!!!!  Our skit went well I supposed! We were the first to perform. I was the Emcee..the narrator and the actress! My hubby is such s sport..he participated!! He became the man to ask the audience to clap!! Held a board with the sign "APPLAUSE" on one hand and a yellow "clapper" on the other. He walked up and down the front stage as and when he feels that we need a cheer!!  Audience was laughing their ass off….thats a good sign… I hope! My skit has a lil’ bit of dancing here and there..and we end it all with a song….which I think the whole group felt RELIEVED after if ended! We went back to our seats and watched the other teams perform. Very interesting night! Drank lots of beers…hehe….took plenty of pictures…enjoyed myself indeed!  Too bad we had to check out the next day… we didn’t end the night just like that….we had a private party in one of my colleague’s room till 4am in the morning…… *YAWNS*….

It was great fun at the Beaufort Sentosa!!!!! Woke up Saturday morning and I can’t feel my legs!!! Was running almost the whole of Sentosa for my company’s Annual Family Day! Its an AMAZING RACE~ AMAZING i tell you!! I was in the verge of F#*@ing everyone on their faces at that point of time! Can’t run no more….felt really breathless…wobbly legs…ran up the hill…then down…then a long stretch of road…then…. there’s escalator! YIPPEE!!!!! GOD STILL LOVES ME!!!!! hehehehe! Alls done and we got 2nd place!! Not bad for an extremely big person like me huh! My team members did good in cheering me along the race! As a reward…BEN & JERRY’S ICE CREAM!!!!!! MUDSLIDEEEEEEEEEE!!! Cool!

Had my Fish Soup at China Square for dinner yesterday!!!! You can’t imagine how glad I was!! I have been craving for it since….dunno when!  Wish I could take a photo of it but my digicam is "OUT OF ORDER". Nevertheless, I’ve sent her for repair and will be collecting her soon!  Went for one HOE and started crooning till midnight! hehee.. not bad for a Tuesday evening right?? Found out from Simone that Captain Dick has kicked the bucket…felt sad but at the same time glad cos I don’t want to see him suffer anymore…Miss him tho’… Now Jerry has got cancer… he’s just too stubborn to go for treatment! Told us that he’s ok and he is able to "take it".